Prisoner of War

[Part I: Prod. by Z]

[Verse 1]
I'm trapped, trapped in my own head
Like I'm in a jail
You probably don't remember me
I think I'm just a memory
That's so deep in your head
I had tried reaching out but you left me on read
I know you know about my feelings
I wrote so many posts and
I wonder if you know they were all about you
So many happy people
Why the fuck can't we be equal
So many photos that you post up on your socials
Show the best aspect, congrats on your proposal
Nobody's life is perfect, except for your's of course
You post about your love, but never the divorce
And I think that I, I think that I'm alright
And I think that I, I, I
I'm getting bettеr at hiding my feelings
But sometimes I trip up and I'm bleeding
I feel like I'm in prison
Feels likе no one wants to listen
Try to see more like my idols
So I try to just keep swimming
I post up on my socials
And I wonder if you notice
It was you, you were the motive
I know you know about my feelings
Sent you a text and I waited all evening
Wondered so long if you were even readin' it
I wanted to move on with you
Make you smile and happy
It's been a while since Gabby
Back when Myles and David weren't scrapping
I'm imprisoned in my thoughts
That's thoughts of what I could've done
And what I should've done but fuck all that
It's over, hun
If you look for me, I'll just be livin' in the moment probably
To live my life alone was almost like a punishment
Would've done anything
For you to acknowledge my compliments
Tell myself "it'll be okay" "it'll be alright"
I've gotta fight
A dyin' light
I'm flyin' high
Or I was until 2-o-1-9
I was really fucked up, but check me now I'm straight
I threw that shit right down the drain
Before I let it cause me any more pain
I know that it can't always rain
Take me back to these simpler days
But you acted in these similar ways
Who am I to complain?
It's better since we parted ways

[Verse 2]
Was there a deeper reason why I never called first, Hay?
No, it's because I'm tired and I just got off work late
And I gotta go back in again at eight
You put me in my cell and threw away the key
Since you wished me well and you left down the backstreet
I can't complain or dwell as long as you loved me
But now you got me feelin' wide awake
And I'm still trapped after the earthquake
Keep feelin' the aftershock
But you kept me in the message, blocked
You wanted all this space
But I've never been an astronaut
Was gonna buy a ring, get in my car, start takin' off
Drive two hours to eat, then get down on one knee
Take it out the box
Thought I was more than your average Spock
But I'm just a prisoner
Please sign the petition, word
David and Luke say "Help free my homie, sir"
I'm in need of intermission, I've been lackin' inhibition
I'm done askin' your permission, I'm breakin' out
But you won't listen
I'm just a fool for you, but I'm not your fuckin' Simpson
I'm more OJ than Homer
Yes, you look okay but you can go fuck yourself
If you think I'm comin' over

[Part II: Prod. by NøtInVain]

[Verse 1]
You know I'm trapped inside this prison of depression and anxiety
Rejections and society, they fuck people up mentally
I've been thinkin' of shit and it's been weighin' on me heavily
Presently I'm sane, but in the past, I've plead insanity
You see my life and think it's perfect
But let me tell you, it's not worth shit
Split a pound of shrooms just to open all these galaxies
Is what I used to do, starin' off these balconies
But I think my now and future family
And the grandpa that I barely got to meet
My grandma, I ain't in her head, I'm barely even a memory
I know at that age we all forget
Man, I seen him in that hospital bed
I remember when Clint graduated
Devon movin' in and getting situated
Jaye's apartment burnin' to the ground, fucked up situation
Tyler and that trip to California, that vacation
I remember Haley and my drama
I remember ailing from my trauma
Ben 10 aliens and Total Drama
Switched from that to the fauna
Joe put down that marijuana
I have a dream I can get my fam a million
And aa prayed that I'm not just a fuckin' fool
I wanna make it, have a kid, pay off school
Buy a house that has a pool
A new car with plenty of fuel
And I'll never be too broke again to buy food
I wanna make a motion picture
Not a life that's regular
Maybe I should slow it down
Take a breath and take it in
I spent my whole life as a chameleon, I'm blendin' in
Everyone else has their shit figured out, no harm
I'm just a needy pedestrian
Broke down like my car
But I'm not your average civilian
I've got this IV in my arm
That makes me different for some reason, can't call it
Call me a librarian, bet
I've got so many chapters
But I gotta be a marionette to make it to the chatters
Life feels like a staring contest
Like that shit just don't matter
Since six years old, I've been cursed
The mirror shattered
In terms of the game, I hope it's blessed
I hope you think that I'm the best
Cause I don't shoot for the moon or believe
I still wear Fruit of the Loom boxer-briefs
Ain't no Versace on me
But I could prolly get that shit for free
Told myself you're not ready for my story
Or maybe I'm just not ready to speak
You got it from the raven's beak
Before I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
I'll grin and bear then grit my teeth
Could be in the hood and grip a piece
Ask myself a million questions every single day
Like why the fuck would Haley and I make-believe
While juggling these things that are all inside my brain
That make me think
I didn't know Christian before he died but rest in peace
You never know what's goin' on on the inside
You just assume or shit's implied
Don't know the whole story
You just jest, sit, split the spliff and divide
Until the liquor drops start pourin'
At least when you're bipolar
Your life is never bori-