The Music Lesson

(door opens, footsteps, tapping on music stand)
(spoken)
Now, boys and girls, I'm Professor Flyshocker, your substitute teacher for the day
You there, back in your seat
Now pay attention, little girl over here, as we learn to play the C Major scale in a very special way, ok?
Ah-one, ah-two, ah-ready? Begin

(band plays)
C D E F G A B C B A G F E D C

(violin screech)

Ah-ah, I heard that, klinker
There'll be no fooling around now as we play variation number one
Ready? And begin

(band plays)
Mmm
Ah
Ah
(trumpet deviates)
What's that?
Mmm
Ah
Mmm

(sung)
Such ex-act-ness takes much prac-ticе

(spoken)
Second variation
Ah-begin

(band plays)
Ah
I'm imprеssed
I like this
I'm so proud
Ah
Ah yah, very good, very good
Wunderbar
Now I will leave the room and you will continue with the lesson until I return
And be on your very best behavior
(footsteps, door closes)

(band starts to play scale, then deviates)

(sung)
It's a fact this
We hate prac-tice

(band plays freely)

(teacher returns, band stops)
What's this? What's this? Paper airplanes flying?
How dare you?
Everybody back to your seats
Now from the top
And

(band plays)
C D E F
Ah
G
It's good
A B
(band deviates, plays freely)
Huh? What's this? What's that I hear? Who said do that?
What is this stuff you're playing?
That's not you, that's not what is written
Play something better than this
There's just so much notes
No, no, no
(fade out)