Missing

Might be the realest shit
That I've ever wrote
I wouldn't wanna see my kids selling coke
You're like sixty now,  you're getting old
But this story here was never told
I was three, little bro was one
Mum packed her bags and left to go
From her Yorkshire home to a London road
She brought her kids and left alone
And like that we was left alone
I didn't like that
Years passed and we never spoke
Birthdays was the worst days, you never wrote
I'd sit and stare at the telephone
Used to ring you, there was no answer
Always thought you was never home
The pain I felt you would never know
You said you'd meet me at primary school
I'd tell all my friends but you'd never show
Mum was working them late nights and never
Once did you send her dough
All I wanted was a pair of Nikes
All I wanted was to hear advice
So rarely did I hear your voice
By eleven I'd let him go
Never once did you pick me up
Said you'd visit but never once in my
Whole life did you visit us
Never once did you give a fuck
You wouldn't care if I was living bruck
Remember nights I was in the mud
You was probably drinking in a pub
There ain't a thing you've given us
Situation all crazy my Pops from Liverpool
And reverted in the late 80's
Before he married my mother
Before she had me or my brother
I've seen photos of you in Pakistan
I don't know much about my father's past
I spent more time at my grandma's yard
More than seven years since
We've exchanged some words
Before then it was eight years
To make it worse
I've seen you twice in fifteen years
My childhood, you was missing there
What's the reason you disappeared?
Moving forward, switching gears
Flashbacks through my lifetime
Flashbacks up in my mind
Back when I was young yute
Before I got up on my grind
I used to go Barratts for school shoes
Mum would give me like £30
Lighting ganja, imma burn it down
What's the reason you weren't around?
I could understand if you was locked up
Got a thirty, done a bird
I could understand if you was catted out
Bunning work but you weren't
I could understand if you was overseas and
Settled down with a new wife
But these times you was up in Leeds
And never gave your two yutes time
I always thought I got a
Half-brother or sister out there
I don't know it
Mum would cuss me and say you're like your
Father but these times I don't know him
A lot of single mothers on their heal
But your absence made me stronger still
All I wanted was an explanation
I never had no expectation
All them years that you left me waiting
I don't think there's nothing
Left to say then
Real talk, you made your bed to lay in