House Party

His abs they were a banging her
So hard against the wall
That out the side her wrinkled mouth
Her false teeth they did fall

And by the way he dropped her to the ground
She guessed he would not call
As he zipped his jeans, did not look back
And wandered on down the hall

Ugly's in the kitchen drinking, beauty's gone to bed
Clever's in his room thinking, you got little me instead
Lust is in the yard or garden, love is by the door
Ain't nothing like a house party
To remind you of the score

Just as she was about to reach
The climax of her tale
Ile cut her off with 'gotta go
I left a tap running back in jail'

And that story 'bout your mother
May sound better told in brail
Meanwhile try staying off the crack
And I'll see you when I next need bail

Ugly's in the kitchen drinking, beauty's gone to bed
Clever's in his room thinking, you got little me instead
Lust is in the yard or garden, love is by the door
Ain't nothing like a house party
To remind you of the score

His fighting days were over
All over his boxers nose
Rut he saw no love beyond the glove
And those shiny, silky robes

From a day when a champ would wear his name
Emblazoned on the back of his clothes
To this god forsaken party
Where no one cares or no one knows

Ugly's in the kitchen drinking, beauty's gone to bed
Clever's in his room thinking, you got little me instead
Lust is in the yard or garden, love is by the door
Ain't nothing like a house party
To remind you of the score

She was SE17 alright
And she wore it like a tattoo
From the hatred of anything spicy
To the hatred of anything new

And anyone who wears their postcode
Like a diamond encrusted shoe
Whether they rich or whether they poor
They're gonna get the post that's due

Ugly's in the kitchen drinking, beauty's gone to bed
Clever's in his room thinking, you got little me instead
Lust is in the yard or garden, love is by the door
Ain't nothing like a house party
To remind you of the score

There ain't nothing like a house party
Unite the workers with the glitterati
The deadly dull with the arty tarty
The cool chianti with the warm fruscatti