Mr. Shoes Tied

[Verse 1]
I thought that I'd be a millionaire
I thought I'd be in Vanity Fair
But I'm gonna be thirty, my kitchen is dirty
My shower drain is clogged with my hair

I thought that I'd trip into my wife
I thought she'd just fall into my life
But I never mingle, I'm chronically single
My thumb is tired from all the swipes

[Chorus]
But I don't mind I'm not Mr. Right
I'm getting acquainted with my mystery life

I'm Mr. Shoes Tied, Mr. Deep Sigh
Mr. I'm Doing Alright
I'm Mr. Hindsight, Mr. Fine Life
Mr. Peaked In Junior High
I used to think I'd be the man
But now I think I'm just some guy

[Verse 2]
I thought that I'd be properly paid
And rewarded for my excellent grades
But the economy's funny, the memes turned to money
I just learned about a Roth IRA

I thought I'd be the macho ideal
A double-pecked stomach of steel
But my voice is still whiny, my biceps are tiny
And I'm five-nine... in two-inch heels

[Chorus]
But I don't mind I'm not Mr. Right
I'm getting acquainted with my mystery life

I'm Mr. Shoes Tied, Mr. Deep Sigh
Mr. I'm Doing Alright
I'm Mr. Hindsight, Mr. Fine Life
Mr. Peaked In Junior High
I used to think I'd be the man
But now I think I'm just some guy

[Bridge]
And I like it
I don't need to be seen to be real anymore
Fuck it, I love it
I'm finally fine, even when I'm ignored
I'm not a prodigy, waiting to be alive

[Outro]
'Cause I'm Mr. Shoes Tied, Mr. Deep Sigh
Mr. I'm Doing Alright
I'm Mr. Hindsight, Mr. Fine Life
Mr. Peaked In Junior High
I used to think I'd be the man
But now I think I'm just some guy