Reasons to Never Date Again

[Verse 1]
I just went out on a date that turned out not to be a date
Just a solo dinner where you're increasingly late
I call you and you say you wrote a text you forgot to send
I just smile and say goodnight and swear I'll never date again

[Verse 2]
Picking clothes is such a chore, I never know what I should wear
Am I too assertive if I wear that special underwear?
I clean my room and water my plants in case you come over and then
I come home drunk and alone and swear I'll never date again

[Chorus]
I thought that modern dating would get easier with time
I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind
I think that even Sisyphus would hate this uphill climb
And I'm not sure that Tinder is what Darwin had in mind

[Verse 3]
Message in your inbox with the same joke I've told a million times
Timing out my texts to match the tempo of your last reply
I could play these games or skip the middleman and sodomize my brain
At least my mind is getting some more reasons to never date again

[Verse 4]
Making plans for ten days time I know that she will never keep
Someone's mom just got to town, someone's cat got put to sleep
We'll make plans when they get back but never mentions where or when
I've diagnosed another ghost and reason to never date again

[Chorus]
I thought that modern dating would get easier with time
I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind
I think that even Sisyphus would hate this uphill climb
And I'm not sure that Tinder is what Darwin had in mind

[Outro]
Everything's so casual, everything's so cool
Don't let someone close enough to push you in the pool
Well, I want someone to ruin my life
I want to fall in love again
But instead you only ruined my night with reasons to never date again