Eulogy

[00:20.61]Will I ever find peace
[00:23.49]Or escape reality
[00:26.53]I cannot think about this
[00:28.42]You know I'll lose my goddamn mind
[00:32.77]Embracing the chaos
[00:35.19]While the moment lasts
[00:37.64]Am I facing the demons or
[00:40.30]Giving in to the enemy
[00:42.27]Within us all

[00:44.18]I write my eulogy
[00:46.68]To ask myself
[00:48.05]What values I lived by
[00:51.54]And can I say
[00:53.15]I'm satisfied
[00:56.32]I wanted to be
[00:58.83]The man revered
[01:00.30]In my family's eyes
[01:03.82]And what I've done
[01:05.74]Has killed my pride

[01:08.79]I know
[01:11.25]I know
[01:12.09]That I lost it when I fell
[01:14.28]I fear that all this anger
[01:15.88]Will consume me slowly
[01:20.54]Like a note from the past
[01:23.25]The pages crumble and fall
[01:26.37]The sorrow that we bottle up inside
[01:29.40]Forgetting everything

[01:33.30]I write my eulogy
[01:35.71]To ask myself
[01:37.04]What values I lived by
[01:41.18]And can I say
[01:42.55]I'm satisfied
[01:45.51]I wanted to be
[01:48.07]The man revered
[01:49.41]In my family's eyes
[01:53.30]And what I've done
[01:54.72]Has killed my pride

[01:58.58]A badge of dishonor that I contemplate
[02:04.79]It's a self-deception that I formulate
[02:10.76]The pain of an individual fool like I
[02:16.90]Is well deserved, it's not a sacrifice
[02:23.20]And heaven knows just how deep the scars are
[02:28.27]And how far I have gone
[02:31.28]God knows there's nothing left for me

[02:34.96]I write my eulogy
[02:37.44]To ask myself
[02:38.54]What values I lived by
[02:42.66]And can I say
[02:44.06]I'm satisfied
[02:47.09]I wanted to be
[02:49.56]The man revered
[02:51.43]In my family's eyes
[02:54.69]And what I've done
[02:56.41]Has killed my pride

[02:59.63]I write my eulogy
[03:02.35]To ask myself
[03:05.65]Clear eyed
[03:07.22]Can I say I'm satisfied
[03:11.63]I wanted to be
[03:15.17]The man revered
[03:16.52]Only if I tried
[03:19.88]But what I've done
[03:20.86]Has killed my pride