Jolly Old Sadist

Santa didn't keep his promise
So he's getting his cookies and milk no more

All I wanted to get for Christmas was a Boba Fett
Still in original packaging, but Santa has abandoned me

And I wanted me a new guitar
With EMGs and a whammy bar

I don't know why that's so much to ask
I was good this year, but now I'm beatin some ass because

Santa's a bastard 'cause he wouldn't give me what I wanted for Christmas
Santa's an asshole 'cause he didn't give me what I wrote on my wishlist
Santa's all shady 'cause he won't deliver on the things that he promised
Santa's so lazy making children suffer like a jolly old sadist

Lies

All I wanted to get for Christmas was a private jet
With a stuardess named Angelina Jolie
But Santa has forsaken me

And I wanted just like every year
A new liver and a truck of beer

I've been so nice and real patient too
But Kris Kringle's got a lot of explaining to do because

Santa's a bastard 'cause he wouldn't give me what I wanted for Christmas
Santa's an asshole 'cause he didn't give me what I wrote on my wishlist
Santa's all shady 'cause he won't deliver on the things that he promised
Santa's so lazy making children suffer like a jolly old sadist

Santa brought
A bunch of
Socks