Fables Ain't Nothing But Doggone Lies

Uncle Josh's nephew was a student of letters
Come home with a  book one night
Said he to his uncle
"This is Aesop's fables and I
Don't understand it right
Will you kindly explain what it means
By a fable
Does it mean what I think it might?"
Uncle Josh's eyes looked extremely wise
And thoughtfully he replied

Fables are stories often told in
Ordinary walks of life
Fables are stories that a wife tells a
Husband and a husband tells his wife
Fables are stories we really believe
'til somebody puts us right
In the olden days they called 'em fables
But they're nothing' but doggone lies

Fables are stories told by candidates
Just before election day
Fables are stories told to the wife
When her husband's far away
Fables are stories we really believe
'til somebody puts us right
In the olden days they called 'em fables
But they nothin' but doggone lies

Now they tell us that Adam
Was the husband of Eve
He was the first with the Lord's consent
Now we can't deny there was no other
Person to give him an argument
He was made outta mud by a fence that stood
There 'til the Lord come and give him sense
But what puzzles me most and
I'd like to know
Who in the dickens built that fence?

Fables are stories when a girl of sixteen may
Tell you that she never been kissed
Fables are stories when a just-arrived sailor
Sees just how bad he's missed
Fables are stories that eyes can tell
When eye looks into eye
In the olden days they called 'em fables
But they're nothin' but doggone lies