Wahoo Is My Waifu

I was born within sight of the dockyard to a hard-working family
Baseball and brews were my pastimes 'til a VHS was handed to me
A cartoon with robots and explosions stirred something deep in my soul
I must go to this land to discover who I am. My oldest friend plays a very important role

Seductive, reductive, Wahoo is my waifu
Don't prejudge our love, Wahoo is my waifu
From Cleveland to Japan, he's been there my whole laifu
Otaku, I love you. Wahoo is my waifu

I built a shrine to my Indian stylized on Deviant Art
I skimped and saved for a ticket assuring him we'd never be apart
Well the day arrived for my journey. Clutched pillow and boarded the plane
Ohayo to Ohio. Maybe one day I'll see you again

Lovely in 2-D, Wahoo is my waifu
Savage, I'm ravaged, Wahoo is my waifu
But nobel and loyal, he's been there my whole laifu
Wahoo-kun, I'm yours soon, Wahoo is my waifu

What have I done? I'm stranded on foreign soil
Illiterate abandoned with no choice but toil

Grinning and winning, Wahoo is my waifu
The best, manifest, Wahoo is my waifu
Redesigned, I don't mind, they've done it my whole laifu
Mascot-chan, I'm your man, Wahoo is my waifu

I was born within sight of the dockyard to a resentful gaijin
Graphic design was my passion 'til I found a pillowcase in the bin

Cartooning and spooning. Wahoo is my waifu
His face is not racist. Wahoo is my waifu
Inspiring, but retiring. Too pure for this laifu
Anime: the best way. Wahoo is my waifu