Evening Out [Includes Lydia the Tattooed Lady]

Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia
Oh! Lydia, the tattooed lady
She has eyes that folks adore so
And a torso even more so
Lydia, oh! Lydia, that "Encyclopedia"
Oh! Lydia, the Queen of tattoo
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo
Beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus too
And proudly above the waves
The Red, White and Blue
You can learn a lot from Lydia

She can give you a view of the world
In tattoo if you step up and tell her where
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree
Or Washington crossing the Delaware

Oh! Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia
Oh! Lydia, the tattooed lady
When her muscles start relaxin'
Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson
Lydia, oh! Lydia, that "Encyclopedia"
Oh! Lydia, the champ of them all

For two bits she will do a Mazurka in Jazz
With a view of Niag'ra that no artist has
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz
You can learn a lot from Lydia.
La la la La la la La la la La la la

Come along and see Buff'lo Bill with his lasso
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon
And Godiva, but with her pajamas on
La la la La la la La la la La la la

Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' the Trylon
Over on the west coast we have Treasure Islan'
Here's Nijinsky a doin' the Rhumba
Here's her Social Security numba
La la la La la la La la la La la la

Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia
Oh! Lydia, the champ of them all
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet