redeem/growing pain

Yoo
Loss words ending up on the curb
Staring at a blank page forming hope inna verse
watch the time parade slowly drifting as I rehearse
Recite words with excitement jus to have it disperse
And for a while now
My minds been onna run
And doubt plays wit me slowly scrapped this album a ton
Too many emotions but I count it as one
And I keep trying tho i'm tryna reach the crown and i'm done
But for now I like to roll up
Got tricks up my sleeve
And i'm never letting up
Off the gas that I breathe
Always relied on the eyes cuz people like to deceive
But like the sun imma come and jus do what I please
I took a small break
I had to get away from the steam
Cause it clouded up my vision and it messed wit the dream
And long before I knew it I was hung to the seam
Of someone else's desires that they have yet to redeem
Its like i'm running in circles tryna find a hidden trait
I'm underwater tryna breathe but I know i'll suffocate
Under weights of the world that's pulsating wit hate
Praying that I can maneuver and jus better create
But days
Moving faster than what I comprehend
And i'm spending way more money than i'm making again
Tell myself that it is fine I can make it again
Pray that my worries won't hurt me when I make amends
Shit
Inspirations never been a big thing
Cause I would always be big-headded sort of like Kanye
So I would always stay grounded
Now i'm counting the days
Where I see alot of billboards plastered up wit my name
They saying ryan you've changed
Its a shame to say they're wrong yall jus moving the same
We in two different lanes
Grew apart within days
That's the growing pains of life and I was sick of the pain
Too bad it was all a haze
But we gotta move our separate ways
Gotta grow cuz If you don't you're stuck in time's gaze
Memories bright looking back with smiled face
Lessons i learned with time and thats always
Yea Thats Always...