Longing for Ether

I hear voices at night, warning me, I can barely sleep
I can't quite understand what it is they are trying to say
They seem to be speaking from somewhere from above my head
So, to hear them, I climb over myself, stepping over my shoulders
Then pulling myself up higher, and climb some more and more

Finally, I am so high I can no longer see the Earth below

Above, the sky is neither black nor blue, there are no stars

But I am high enough
I can hear them, the voices clearly
As clear as a bell of fire
As clear as a window in the sun

I hear them

They are saying, "Beware. Stay on the ground or you will become lost, as we are. Lost..."

(Kicked in the window, threw the door behind me, or you will become lost, as we are. lost...

I tried turning corners, first faster then slower
Until I almost ran into myself
I knew there was no hope

My lungs filled my head, dying and eager for silence, the perfect breath
The air knew I could not resist

Flesh is weak, but is weakness always bad?
Weakness serves to glorify, to ennoble, to sanctify)

She always told me to stay away from the pit
She would tell me that I wanted to keep my life from being
Any colour I had best be strong
And when she died, I began digging for her as well

The deeper I dug the stronger I got
(My addicting shining like quicksilver
Along the ropes inside my arms)
I had dug so deep that all the world
Was a velvet black

(Turning even less than black)
Then I unearthed the Goddess
I took the Goddess home and though
She treated me badly my addiction
Turned from strength to love
She disappeared as I held her, the air
As clear as quartz and rhythm
It was then I noticed my thin
Charred arms, fading
Now I go back to the hole, feeding
The earth, the grave song and cinder, I
Go to speak with my child like dust
On a moth's wing

(My flesh white pink fumbles that I
Am flesh. Flesh is weak, flesh is weak
Flesh is weak, as air pushes into
Consume and elevate

What I need is new eyes, new eyes
To battle the conceit that death may be
Salvation, new eyes, and a vacuum

Knowing what I want, knowing I need, the
Perfect air follows, carving a hunger, I
Sigh, gasping red and screaming
Longing to breathe.)