I Never Knew What I Meant To You

Dear old friend
How has everything been?
Do you still have the memories from back then?
Or has time took them from your head?

Why do people leave?
Actually why do I seek relief?
In people who only mistreated me
Love the sense of dependance and needing me
I'd give the ones that I love all the blood in my body
But never be seen as enough
I used to kick with my clique, never tripped 'bout a bitch
Shoving smoke in my lungs

Now they just copy me
Putting out music instead of pursuing the shit that they love
They haven't seen all the sleepless nights I would stay up
Or the times that I would write as I cut
I still have notebooks with pages and pages of verses
Soaked all in my blood
Conversations I had with myself and no one felt like giving a fuck
Contemplations I had of just giving it up

One night I grabbed all my razors and sat there in silence while holding the gun
Thinking it won't be so silent when everyone hears what I've done
Squeezed the trigger as hard as I could but the bullet was stuck
Etched 20 lines in my skin fell asleep and left life up to luck

I'm not scared of the dark anymore I'm in love with it
Spent so much time in it I became one with it
I don't ever wanna see the Sun again
All I want is to be fucking dead

Leave me roses and violets inside of my coffin
A knife with an upside down cross and blood dripping off it
An ounce with some vodka, make sure there's a mosh pit
Make sure that my mom's in the middle getting stomped quick
For all the times she left me and my brother unconscious
High off the drugs coming off it

Dear old friend
How has everything been?
Do you still have the memories from back then?
Or has time took them from your head?