When Your Pants Begin To Go

[Verse 1]
When you wear a cloudy collar and a shirt that isn't white
And you cannot sleep for thinking how you'll reach to-morrow night
You may be a man of sorrows, and on speaking terms with Care
But as yet you're unacquainted with the Demon of Despair
For I rather think that nothing heaps the trouble on your mind
Like the knowledge that your trousers badly need a patch behind

[Verse 2]
You are nonetheless a hero if you elevate your chin
When you feel the pavement wearing through the leather, sock, and skin
You are rather more heroic than are ordinary folk
If you scorn to fish for pity under cover of a joke
You will face the doubtful glances of people that you know
But of course you're bound to face them when your pants begin to go

[Verse 3]
Though the present and the future may be anything but bright
Oh it's best to tell the fellows that you're getting on all right
And a man prefers to say it, it's a manly lie to tell
For the folk may be persuaded that you're doing very well
But it's hard to be a hero, and it's hard to wear a grin
When your most important garment is in places very thin

[Verse 4]
Get some sympathy and comfort from the chum who knows you best
Then your sorrows won't run over in the presence of the rest
There's a mate that you can go to when you feel inclined to whine
He'll declare your clothes are tidy, and he'll say: "Just look at mine!"
Though they may be all over he will say it doesn't shown
And he'll swear it can't be noticed when your pants begin to go

[Verse 5]
Brother mine, and of misfortune
Times are hard, but do not fret
Keep your courage up and struggle
And we'll laugh at these things yet
Though there is no corn in Egypt, surely Africa has some
Keep your smile in working order for the better days to come
And we shall often laugh together at the hard times that we know
And get measured by the tailor when our pants begin to go

[Outro]
We shall often laugh together at the hard times that we know
And get measured by the tailor when our pants begin to go