Never Hit Your Granny With a Shovel (Soft Boiled Ballads)

Oooh! Never hit your Grandma with a shovel
It makes a bad impression on her mind
(On her mind)
In a better way impart
All the love things in your heart
For it's possible she may retort in kind
(Retort in kind)
Remember Granny's known you since a baby
And even though in fun, could prove a shock
(Prove a shock)
So respect her aged head,
Stay the shovel and instead
Paste your dear old, sweet old Grandma
With a rock.

A Grandma, with her grandchild,
Sat by the kitchen door
Of a quaint old fashioned house built long ago
The little lass grew restless
As on the evening wore
For she felt the time was fleeting very slow
""I must do something"" cried the girl,
And seized the nearby spade
But a passing stranger blocked her swing
Whilst these wise words he said

Oh! Never hit your Grandma with a shovel
It makes a bad impression on her mind
In a better way impart
All the love things in your heart
For it's possible she may retort in kind
Remember Granny's known you since a baby
And even though in fun, could prove a shock
(Prove a shock)
So respect her aged head,
Stay the shovel and instead
Paste your dear old, sweet old Grandma
With a rock.
(A great big rock)