Bob Johnson

In handcuffs smoking her second butt
Thinking 'bout her life and how
He messed it up, f'd it up
Her maiden name was Jen Kimbal
That was back when she was single
She doesn't still live with
Her husband of course
They don't grasp the same forks
Didn't have to divorce
He was getting shady with a lady from work
She saw 'em coppin' pork, shoppin'
Poppin' corks
One night he walked in the door with a snort
"Give me food, Jen, then let me watch sports
I want a BJ first, like Bjork
Bring a beer in here, dear, from the porch"
She stirred the ladle in the borscht
Said "Yes
Robert" and brought him the main course
He took a spoonful, soon was a corpse
She dumped him in the port with
The fish by the wharf
She told her cellmate his dick's like a dwarf
But she missed her kiddos
And she's not glad she did it
As she's sitting in prison
When they visit, they see the
Widow through the window, but
Everybody knew his name
Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
And you would probably do the same
If he did it to you
His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
He's your man if you need anything
If you need that jacuzzi installed
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call

Yo, Ella was looking for a fella
So she flirted at work and
Made their wives all jealous
(yeah) Looking for a man with some loot
‘Cause her three sons all had
Holes in the boots
(yeah) Her husband died in Tikrit
Got cash from the government, enough to eat
(yeah) Couldn't even bring her
Sons to the movies
She took a second job, working
Selling jacuzzis her boss was a pervert
But he's rich like sherbet
He'd get a boner when she'd murmur
So she did it, let him hit it
And then quit her other job as a server
Became the top earner
He was 60 with a 20 year old's sex drive
Sex drive
Never thought he would get murdered
After he copped her the 2013 X5
X5, manicured, no cuticles
Beamer gleamin', all looking beautiful
She wore all Gucci to the funeral
Before his wife got life in the cubicle, but
Everybody knew his name
Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
And you would probably do the same
If he did it to you
His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
He's your man if you need anything
If you need that jacuzzi installed
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call

Well it was just procedure
And nobody stuck around
Parking lot was empty 'fore
He's in the ground
And his obituary has compliments
As if he did it all with no consequence
He had saliva on his epitaph
But they did not write that because

Everybody knew his name
Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
And you would probably do the same
If he did it to you
His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
He's your man if you need anything
If you need that jacuzzi installed
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call