Swagless

I'm in the place, y'all, trippin' on things
I just walked in, spillin' my drink
Played ball but I never scored a basket
You already know, you ain't gotta ask it
(Swagless) you know I'm (Swagless)

Ugly, clumsy, trust me
Sandusky wouldn't fuck me
You know who's swagless
To get my shit together
I would have to eat magnets (Swagless)
So if you're looking, call it off
I'm right here homie, swag holocaust
Eh, I'm fever than Justin Bieber
I tried to do the dougie
It was looking like a seizure
I'm accidentally celibate
I could sign and drive a boxy Honda
SUV and not be in my element
I been irrelevant, I'm still delicate
But this year
I can bench 85 like Bill Belichick
Check it out
Drooling out my mouth, falling on a couch
I just dropped a coffee, sloppy
And I'm retarded
And I only wrote fourteen bars
I'm in the place, y'all, trippin' on things
I just walked in, spillin' my drink
Played ball but I never scored a basket
You already know, you ain't gotta ask it
(Swagless) you know I'm (Swagless)

I met this girl named Betty
She was all about it we started dancing
Shook her booty all around it
I felt so guilty
Had to call my man and tell him
I hung up and lit a candle
Put on Lady Antebellum
I walk up to the bar and
Order cran and Peach Street
Peach Street, burn, cruising
Sleeping in the backseat
I'm so real that I freak if I see a spider
I won't walk into a dark
Room without a lighter
Give me the mic and I made it
My two-thug shit I chipped it
I'ma be out at a restaurant counting the bill
But you know I won't pitch in
Glitchin', nonfiction books, my one addiction
Picturin' my nana on the
Couch knittin' me mittens
Broke and lazy, making babies
Collecting food stamps to save for a Mercedes
Man I'm swagless, but I smell good
Spray painting Hanukkah stars all
Over the neighborhood

I'm in the place, y'all, trippin' on things
I just walked in, spillin' my drink
Played ball but I never scored a basket
You already know, you ain't gotta ask it
(Swagless) you know I'm (Swagless)

I'm gonna tell you a story
This is about me and a fat girl, one time
The only reason I did it was ‘cause she
Had the most humongous tit's you've ever seen
And you know what? You're gonna laugh at this
She actually became a porno star
Her name was Susie, Susan Sparks
And, it's snowing, right?
And I mean it's snowing a lot
I got my off duty lights on
And she's in the fucking street
And I'm looking at her tit's
I'm not looking at how fat she
Is, she got tit's like this, really
So she goes, "Can you take me to Queens?"
I'm like, "Well, I can take ya
But you gotta sit up front
The doors in the back are
Frozen ‘cause it's so cold" (Ha ha ha)
(Is that true?) now she goes
"You wanna come in the house and have
A drink and smoke some weed?" i'm like, wow
I'm definitely getting laid now
I go in the house, there's another girl
She's not - I mean, I don't go for fat girls
The other one was slim, blonde hair
Blue eyes
I'm like, man, I wanna fuck this one
Fuck fatso but you know when ya - you
Know something is not gonna happen?
I get drunk with 'em, I smoke some pot, and
You don't know which one you wanna do
Or if you can do two of them or if
They're gonna go for it or if they're not
So I said, "You know what? I
Think I lost a ball game
I gotta get outta here"
So now Susan, fatso, goes
"Can you give me a ride to my car?"
I go, this is my last fucking chance
(Ha ha ha ha)