The Lame, the Halt and the Blind

[COOLEY]
Step up! Step up!
Step right up!

[MAGRUDER]
Buy your blessings, get your tickets!
Cures confusion, croup, and rickets!

[SCHUB]
Only one blessing per pilgrim per ticket
Only one blessing per pilgrim per ticket
Only one—

[COOLEY, MAGRUDER & SCHUB]
All for the lame, the halt, and the blind
And anyone out of their mind
The lame shall saunter, the halt shall run
The blind shall look on the light of the sun—
It's holy, it's healthy, it's easy, it's fun!

Count your blessings, get your—
Only one blessing per pilgrim per ticket
Only one—
Step up, step up, step right—

[PILGRIMS babble.]

[PILGRIMS, spoken]
Help...
(sung)
Amen

[COOLEY, MAGRUDER & SCHUB]
Blessed be the deaf, the dumb, and the sick
And anything else you can pick
The deaf shall hear and the dumb shall speak
The sick shall find all the succor they seek
Minority groups get a discount this week!

Step up! Step up! Step right—
Count the suckers, find the blabby one
—Blessing per pilgrim per ticket
Only one—

[PILGRIMS babble.]

[PILGRIMS, spoken]
Comfort...
(sung)
Amen

[COOLEY, MAGRUDER & SCHUB]
Come slake your spiritual thirst
Get kissed, get blessed
Get fully immersed
Get dry, get dressed
Put God to the test
But do it fast
The first shall be first
And the last shall be last
La la la la la la

[PILGRIMS babble.]

[PILGRIMS, spoken]
Rainbow...
(sung)
Amen

[COOLEY, MAGRUDER & SCHUB]
Come all ye fierce, ye frail, and ye pure
And any who aren't too sure
The frail shall fight and the fierce be fey
The pure shall throw inhibition away
If not—well, we're sorry, you still have to pay:
You can't expect miracles every day!

Step up! Step up! Step right—
Buy your tickets, light your candles!
—Blessing per pilgrim per ticket
Only one—

[PILGRIMS babble.]

[PILGRIMS, spoken]
Happy...
(sung)
Amen