Ashton Cronch
[Intro: M-Sack]
You ever been to Bashton Fart School?
It's shit!
We been here for two flippin' decades!
And trust me when I tell you this, this school is fuckin' aids
[Verse: M-Sack, F-Word, M-Sack and F-Word]
But I'd rather have aids than rather go to this school
Shave that moustache, Mr Poole
When I pull up in English and I see Mrs Strode
I'd rather have fire comin' outta my chode
We got no fuckin' bins
Seagulls shit on my ass
I gotta clean my trousers
And I'll be late for class
Mrs Buck coming at you with cystic fibrosis
Watch out for the Bunsen 'cus I'm about to roast this
Slice you up, cut you into two like it's mitosis
I'll puncture your cell membrane like it's osmosis
Cannot deal with the aids at this school
Why is Mr George so fucking tall?
The cheese is made of plastic
This school is so elastic
Guess who got a three in science
It was fucking Patrick
So many bagels in this school
Like I'm pulling up to a synagogue
That's where Jews go to pray
A synagogue-
The bagels got so much cheese
They be lookin like smegma
I'm half black
So I can say [CENSORED]
Mr Britton
He's a short ginger cunt
He's bald on the top
And gay 'round the front
Monsieur UK
You're lookin' real gay
Come to you at break
And we say hey
You be like
"What we tryna' say?"
And we be like
"Can we book the room today?"
[Outro 1: M-Sack, F-Word, M-Sack and F-Word]
So like, like, Fred, you ever think about this right
Like, back in the day, they never had chairs right
So ho-who, even came up with that right
Like who thought...wh-wha-what ass thought that you would have to sit in the staircase shape?
Wel-Well isn't it just like how rocks work?
Like, like, you're just like a-like a normal cave-cave man
And he was like "Hmm, I'm gonna sit on the stairs."
W-wait, so is it like, is it like a need embedded in humans to, like, get in that position?
Is it, like standing or lying down
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say, it like...
It's kinda natural, isn't it?
'Cus like standing, you can't get any more standing than standing, can you?
Yeah
You can't get any more led down than led down, can you?
So you gotta find a good in-between, right?
So, so yeah, but like, but like, being sat down, you can get more standing than you are sat down
Yeah
But being sat down, is like, an obviously, like, y-you're more stood up than if you're led down, yeah?
Yeah, that's kinda like my erection
Yeah, yeah
Fist bump, hell yeah
That was a good one
[laughing]
What the fuck are you doing?
Oww, Fred stop, stop, stop, fuck-
Yeah, take that Fred
No, go away, go-
[Outro 2: Apparated Inside My Fridge]
OH, JE-OH, JESUS CHRIST IT'S-