ESC, ALT & F4

[Intro/Spoken]
A'right fellas? Willie 'ere
Just givin' you a little bit of advice there for, uh, y'know, if you're upstairs, watchin'...
Specialist European videos shall we say?
Y'know, while wife's out at bingo?
Always be careful just in case she comes back home
'Eed these words

[Verse 1]
Now lads let me tell you some shortcuts
You can use on your PC for sure
F5 that refreshes, control and C, that one copies
Well now let me tell you so'more

There's a sequence of keys that will 'elp thee
'Cause it shuts down a window real quick
Which'll come in real handy when' wife walks in' room
And your watchin' your amateur vi-ids (Ooh, 'ere we go, c'mon!)

[Chorus]
Escape, alt, and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been watching those naughty films
That you don't want fer' watch any more

Escape, alt, and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been browsin' those rudey websites
And you don't want fer' browse any more (I think you know where I'm goin' fellas)

[Verse 2]
So it's Friday, and the wife's gone' down Tescos
And you're sat on your own like a berk
So while' wife's doin' big shop
You're in' bedroom wi' laptop
Viewing websites that're not safe for work

So you're browsin' some saucy material
She's come back, there's a creak on the stairs
Now what did I tell thee about what keys to press
Should the missus catch thee unawares-oh (Here we go, c'mon!)

[Chorus]
Escape, alt, and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been watching those naughty films
That you don't want fer' watch any more

Escape, alt, and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been browsin' those rudey websites
And then you don't want fer' browse any more (Let's take it to the end guys)

[Verse 3]
So in summary lads, use your discretion
So's you don't get a nasty surprise
When' wife returns early
From' bingo on Thursday
And you're there with yer special AVIs (I think y'all know what I mean)

Just three keys is all y'have fer' remember
It works on Explorer, or even Firefox!
But tha'll 'ave fer' think fast
When' wife bursts in and finds thee
Surfin' internet wearing nowt but yer socks-oh (One last time, 'ere we go!)

[Chorus]
Escape, alt, and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been watching those naughty films
That you don't want fer' watch any more

Oh escape, alt, and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been browsin' those rudey websites
When the wife comes home early she won't get a fright
Just press those three keys so there's no filth in sight
Escape, alt, and F fo-o-o-our

Right