The Common Cold (The Epidemic)

[Verse 1]
I am a hacking cough
That tickle in your throat
In an unmade bed in Mexico
You will catch my cough, you will catch my cold
Hey, hey, no one needs to know
Just put it in your mouth
No snail trails have blackened
It's like it never happened
I won't be a henpeck, I'll infect it

[Pre-Chorus]
I've done so many bad things and
I never seem to get clean
No pecking order, please
I've done too many bad things

[Chorus]
Come get it, help yourself
Come see it for yourself
We're raising glasses high, dirty as all hell
In sickness and health, in sickness and health
So would you drink after me?
I've been a good boy, I'm squeaky clean
A pretty please in the motel, the snails without shells
In sickness and health, in sickness and health

[Verse 2]
So don't be so alarmed
You're being harvested and farmed
Every time I continue to breathe
You wipe your nose on my sleeve
Every time I don't drive off a cliff
Every time I don't chop off my lips
I've been taken to swallowing pennies
For the apocalypse surely coming

[Chorus]
Come get it, help yourself
Come see it for yourself
We're shaking rubber gloves up to the shelves
In sickness and health, in sickness and health
So would you sleep where I sleep?
In with the bed bugs and bad beliefs
I don't mean to make it seem like salmon upstream
Are you afraid, are you afraid of me?