The Night Before Larry Was Stretched
The night before Larry was stretched
And the boys, they all paid him a visit
A bit in their sacks, too, they fetched
And they pawned all their duds till they ris' it
For Larry was ever the lad
When the boys were condemned to a squeezer
To pawn all the duds that he had
And to help a poor friend to a sneezer
And to warm his gob before he died
The boys, they came crowding in fast
And they drew all their stools 'round about him
Six glims round his trap-case were placed
He couldn't be well-waked without them
Then one of us asked, "Could he die
Without having duly repented?"
Says Larry, "That's all in me eye
And first by the clergy invented
To get a fat bit for themselves"
"Then I'll be cut up like a pie
And me knob from me body be parted."
"You're in the wrong box, then", says I
"For blast if they're so bad-hearted"
"A chalk on the back of your neck
Is all that Jack Keating dare gives you
I don't mind such trifle's affect
For why should the likes of them grieve you?
And now me boys, come tip us the deck."
The clergy came in with our books
And he spoke him so smooth and so civil
Larry tipped him a Kilmainham look
And he pitched his big wig to the devil
Then sighing, he threw back his head
To get his sweet drop of the bottle
"Oh, pitiful sighin'" he said
"Oh, the hemp will be soon round me throttle
And it'll choke me poor windpipe to death"
Though sure, it's the best way to die
Oh, the devil, it's better than livin'
For when the gallows is high
Oh, your journey is shorter to heaven
But what harasses Larry the most
And what makes him so poor and melancholy
He thinks of the time when his ghost
Will come back in a sheet to sweet Molly
Oh, yes, it'll kill her alive
When he came to, the mumbling 'jit
He was tucked up so neat and so pretty
And the rumbler jugg'd off of his feet
And he died with his face to the city
Now he kicked too but that was all pride
For soon, you might see 'twas all over
As soon as the noose was untied
And at dark, now we waked him in clover
And we sent him to take his ground-sweat