Center Lane Larry

[Verse 1]
Well, he signed on with Swift
Went to their six-week driving school
He's a member of the ATA
A real truck-driving fool
He don't need no experience
Hell, he's as safe as he can be
Well, just ask the FMCSA
About his safer ELD

[Verse 2]
But he's got a pair of leather gloves
The kind your fingers stick out of
And six new pairs of jogging pants
Because, by God, that's what he loves
Two new pairs of flip-flops
And a GPS that's two feet wide
He ain't hard to see rolling through your town
'cause, hell, he never dims his damn lights

[Chorus]
Oh, Center Lane Larry
Boys, he's got it made
He don't even need no mirrors
He can't back up anyway
He ain't moving over
Come hail, rain, sleet or snow
Oh, Center Lane Larry
The modern day king of the road

[Verse 3]
Well, he calls us super truckers
When we pass him on the right
Guess he thinks it's our fault
His truck won't do but sixty-five
Aw, but he ain't worried about it, y'all
'cause there's construction up ahead (Aw, shit, is that him there?)
And when we slow down for the workers
Hell, he just goes flying by again

[Verse 4]
But he'll take his thirty-minute break
By the pump at the Flying J
And go flying through that parking lot
Like it's qualifying day
But he's bonafide and certified
Brought to you by Uncle Sam (Ha!)
The only time he turns his CB on
Is when he hits a damn traffic jam (Oh!)

[Chorus]
Oh, Center Lane Larry
Boys, he's got it made
Rolling down the highway
Watching... 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?
Lord, he ain't moving over
Come hail, rain, sleet or snow
Oh, Center Lane Larry
The modern day king of the road

[Bridge]
Well, there's no sand traps too tall
Or bridges built too low
Oh, Center Lane can't make that big rig go
If he starts backing in beside you
Here- here's what you'd better do
You- You'd better hit your knees and pray to God
He don't tear off your f--king hood
Phew, I ain't kidding you, he'll do it, too

[Chorus]
Oh, Center Lane Larry
What a self-centered ass
With his truck set on cruise control
His foot propped up on the dash
He ain't moving over
Come hail, rain, sleet or snow
Oh, Center Lane Larry
The modern day king of the road

[Chorus]
Oh, Center Lane Larry
Boys, he's just too much
Hauling eighty-thousand
While he's... playing Candy Crush?
He ain't moving over
Come hail, rain, sleet or snow
Oh, Center Lane Larry
The modern day king of the road
Oh, Center Lane Larry
The ATA's pride and joy

[Outro]
Oh, oh, come on y'all
We better get out of here
He's backing up