In Return

The two story house,
Where we started again,
With the flaky white paint,
On the garage door.
Trying to skate in the drive way,
On a hand me down skate board.
I left my skin on the ash felt,
The closest to pain that I'd felt.
Too young to know what lonely was,
Just you and three kids,
In an empty fucking house.
I never noticed,
I never saw the pain,
When 14 years meant shit that day.
It never mattered so much to me,
It never changed a thing.
The tests came in,
You were sick,
But it's not like I didn't care,
I just couldn't hear it.
A wheel chair would never take my mum,
If I just ignored it.
You said we'd never have it differently,
From the kids that were given everything,
So instead I'd throw it in your face,
The thought of letting someone in.
Mum,
Now that I've been in love myself,
I can't imagine how it felt,
To be told that you could,
Never love another man.
Not like you had it easy,
Not like you came out even.
It's not like I could ask for any more,
Than you'd already given.
And it makes me sick,
That bad luck had nothing to do with it.
Just the heartless human beings,
That you called your family.
Apologise,
You'll never get those years,
But you smiled through all of it.
And I know,
Even after everything I've done,
All I ever had to do was call.
But I've lost sleep over the,
Thought of forgiveness.