Too Dumb for New York City

When I first saw New York City
I was green down to the core
You could see my red neck glowing
For a mile or maybe more
Between the hustlers and the hookers
I must have made their day
Cause they peeled me like an apple, Lord
And sent me on my way

When you're pushed and shoved and almost mugged
It ain't no place to be
So I came to one conclusion
New York ain't for me

[Chorus]
From sea to shining sea
And coast to coast
Somewhere in the middle
Is the land I love the most
I ain't California pretty
I can't survive the Great White Way
I'm too dumb for New York City
And too ugly for L.A.

I made my way to Tinseltown
To Hollywood and Vine
Out among the pretty faces
I'd surely find a place for mine
The way I walk--the way I talk
They'll hang on every word
But don't call me, I'll call you
Was all I ever heard

In L.A. what they're thinking
Ain't what they talk about
At least in New York City
There's never any doubt

[Chorus]