Customs

[Skit: Wiley, Customs Agent, and Customs Agent's Superior]

Hello sir, can I check your bag please?
Yeah yeah yeah, go on, go on, go on, go on
Can I ask where you're going?
I'm going to Barbados just to see the island for a couple days
Ohhh, you like to travel?
Yeah, you know I like a bit of sightseein' and stuff
Just wanna go and see Barbados really
Alright, hold on a minute
Yo, you check the boy there?
I'm doing it now Wellan
Ey boy, you got drugs haulin' off
What d'you mean officer? I don't carry nothin' nowhere
Hold on Wellan, let me check the (?)
Ey boy, stand up there (?)
Can I see your passport please, sir?
Yeah, let me just get it out the bag wait a sec, sec
Here, here
Yo this boy (?)
Ey boy, we gotta take a urine test now
Um, 'ello mate, what it is is
We do these checks because uh, there's a lot uh, you know
There's a lot of drugs going back and forth and that
So uh, step this way
And we're gonna uh, take a sample of your urine
Alright alright mate, so you're a police officer from England then
And you just work up there?
Yeah yeah yeah, what it is is we help out with immigration
As you know, there's a lot of people doing this sort of thing
So we have to make sure that it's all sorted
Yeah I know what you mean
You know, like make sure no one ain't slippin' through
With anything that they shouldn't be, you know how it is
Anyway son, I'm sure you, I'm sure you
Yeah yeah yeah, I know I know I know I know
Sure you know
Okay then, so would you like to take um
A sample of your urine into this tube
And then uh, when you finish, the sink's there
Wash your hands, and um, yeah
Give us back the tube
Okay okay okay, cool
Here you go, officer, there's the tube
Okay son would you like to take a seat in there?
Yeah
And um, give us like a minute or two (Okay, okay)
And I'll get back with the results
And then um, hopefully we can get you on this flight
And you'll go to Barbados and uh, everything will be sorted
You know(Yeah, exactly)A little bit of sightseein'
Wouldn't ya?
Defo man, that was the main aim, you know what I mean?
I come to Jamaica but I just wanted to pop over to Barbados
But yeah, alright, sort that out for me cool
Okay mate, um, what's happened is
You are 69.7 percent THC level
So um, yeah, you you
Do you smoke weed, at all?
Yeah I smoke weed officer, to be honest with you
I do smoke weed, I'm not gonna lie, you know what I mean?
I'll have a puff here and there
Okay cause what it is, is, um, usually what they wanna do
Is run you up the hospital, you know uh, go to the
Kingston, the uh, the hospital and uh
What they'll do is an x-ray, because uh, they
Think that you've swallowed some class A
Nah man, I ain't done that
Officer I told ya, I smoke weed bro, and that is what I do
I'm not, uh
Right now, I just wanna go over to Barbados and do a bit
Of sightseein' you get me?
See if I might see Rihanna, if it's possible
Hahahahaha, I hear ya son but let me have a talk
With my pal in there, because as I said anyway
We'll have a talk, and if he gives it the go ahead
We'll let you go this time, but just to let you know
If you do smoke weed, when you know you're gonna fly
Don't really smoke, because then, obviously
If they see ya, or if they look in your eyes and it looks
A bit red, they're obviously gonna do one of these checks
And one of these checks could obviously mean you go up
The hospital, and they do the x-ray, and obviously
That'll waste your time a bit, but, hold on a sec man
Let me sort this
Okay okay, cool cool cool
Okay Richard, you're free to go
As I said next time, don't, um
Get, erm, stay away from the weed
When you're about to fly cause obviously
You don't want to get caught up in one of these checks
Okay son? See you later, have a nice flight
Have a nice time in Barbados, and if you see Rihanna
Tell her I said hi (Hahahaha) Wouldn't ya?
I will mate, I will, thanks, see ya later
Fucking prick