Upon Reflection

Reflecting, I reflect
I probably haven't been the best
I've been away, I've been depressed
Been tryna raise you with a cheque
Now I can blame it on success and
Claim that I just need money
Making up for lost time you can't
Get back on no rolly
In the mornings we connect in
Ways we haven't done
I pray them school runs would
Turn into a marathon
It's funny how I always work from home
But don't get home from work
It's funny how I pray you grow and
Work but don't get home from church
Now I'm reflecting through my sentences
That's just a lonely verse
I made a promise in my foreign
Whip so that I won't reverse
Now I'm speeding down memory lane
Running out of petrol almost every day
Reflecting how I treated every
Woman that I sexed
And now my daughter's nearly ten it's
Like I found my common sense
I guess it's easy to regret
Like it's easy to finesse
But now I finally got the message
I can CC all my friends
We got kids the same age
We used to roll the whole day
We got older then we went our own ways
We ain't spoken in a minute
You been on my mind for hours
When it's all said and
Done it'll be written
In loads of flowers on the coffin
You been my nigga from we cotting
First tooth, first coup, first college
First zoot, first move, first bondage
First bar, 32, verse honest
Reflecting how I'm treating all these
Members of my family
You a friend or you my family it depends
If you just turn up to the Grammys and
You didn't have a shoulder or a brandy
When my show was half full in the Academy
Embarrassed to come out
When there was holes up in my couch
At home playing cat and mouse
There was rodents in my house
You said I never had drive
But now you're one chauffeuring around

Too much reflecting too much reflecting
Too much reflecting
Making mirror crack, seven years
Bad luck now, yeah
Hate your reflection
You're still looking back
Wishing for what you had
Didn't know what you had
Don't break the mirror

I reflect on my career
I think about the wonder years
See, once I went to number one
All other numbers underwhelm me
Top ten just left me feeling like a failure
Top twenty, now you feel like euthanasia
You're heavy breathing in the label and
They're waiting to excel you
You think you've had your heyday and
They feel they'll Tony Bell you
All them diamonds in your ring that had
You dancing like a girl group mean nothing
The something that you're
Loving dissembled you

Pray for the change to come
Came and it's changing you
No way was a chain enough
'Cause the paper keeps changing up
Pray for the change to come
And it came and it's changing you
No way was a chain enough
'Cause the paper keeps changing up

I think about Chip from time to time
The truth is we both made
A difference in our lives
And it's petty that we couldn't
Put those differences aside
We left it under troubled water and
The bridge is still on fire
All those times you reached out to
Have a talk on it
I wasn't really ready for no walk on it
Same brother, different mother
Same orphanage
But when you're from a broken
Home you shouldn't auction it
Closed doors turn into revolving doors
The internet just made the world smaller
They don't even own a business
But involved in yours
Staring at a meme with an open jaw
Reflecting on my teens there was photo
Shops and nobody was Photoshopped
Still everything was crystal clear
Without scrolling through
A thousand pictures til they disappear
Focus, now you're out the room
But your kid's in there
I guess the real Black Mirror's here

Too much reflecting too much reflecting
Too much reflecting
Making mirror crack, seven years
Bad luck now, yeah
Hate your reflection
You're still looking back
Wishing for what you had
Didn't know what you had
Don't break the mirror
Don't break the mirror too much reflecting
Making mirror crack, seven years
Bad luck now, yeah
Hate your reflection
You're still looking back
Wishing for what you had
Didn't know what you had
Don't break the mirror