Blind Date

Fanny & chorus
Smooth the sofa, plump the pillows
Dump the ashtrays, oh this dress
Look at me I am shaking all over,
Shaking all over
I'm a mess
Waiting wondering what I'll be thinking
When he comes walking through that door

What'll come walking through that door
A man I never saw in my life before
Oh,
I am so nervous
I got a blind date waiting to call on me (any minute now)
I got a blind date what am I gonna see (any minute now)
Right over there's the doorway, he will be walking through
Will he be six foot eight or maybe four foot two (it could happen)

I got a blind date waiting to come around (any minute now)
Oy but I'm nervous listen to my heart pound
Why do I need this headache, single is not a crime
I got a blind date
An with my luck he'll be on time

I got a girlfriend Shirley, who says why not (she's an idiot)
This guy is a friend from a friend of a friend she got (hello, how do you do
What an idiot)
One thing I know is Shirley ain't sitting on no shelf
If he was such a vow she'd keep him for herself (it's only natural)
She says she is he's nice and he deals in stocks (sounds good, but she's an
Idiot)
I'll bet a buck he looks like month-old lox (also and idiot)
What do I need from Shirley her and her fifty cup
I got a blind date and I'm praying he stands me up

Wait wait, what am I praying he stands me up, I'll stand him up. I smell a rat
Anyway, I'm gonna hide under the bed, he'll never see me, he'll walk in and look
Around, I wouldn't be there, he'll go away and that's the end of that.
Perfect!
Now you keep quiet, not a word you hear
You didn't see a thing
Oeps there he is!
Now quiet everybody sh quiet!

Rosalie?
Oi, oi, oi
Rosalie? that's odd she doesn't seem to be here
Smart, smart!
I've been stood up, it's news
Well it's better than put down
This has never happened before
What and ego!
Rosalie? !
Sh, sh, sh!
It worked, it worked!
He never saw me. boy am I lucky I didn't see him neither,
But I can just imagine what a lox that one was.

I got it right her Shirley was playing tricks
No, no, that's wrong, you got it wrong
Wait, wait, what that's not right?
No, he was gorgeous he looked like Rudolph
Rudolph who?
Rudolph Valentino
Get away
Yeah, the sheik from Arabia
Not the phantom from the opera?
Uh, uh
The sheik from where?
The sheik from Arabia
Get away
That's right
Wait a minute is this person kidding me around here?
No, no absolutely
Get away
Well that's what happened I let him get away

What do I'll do now maybe become a nun (that's impossible)
I'm calling Shirley maybe she'll bring a gun
Please Shirley, even if he's lon chaney fat, bald or short or tall
Having a blind date is better than having
No date, at no time with no one at all.
Wait a minute maybe I spoke too soon
Shirley get me out of here!
Oh this one is cute.