If I Was the Priest

There's a light on yonder mountain
And it's callin' me to shine
There's a girl over by the water fountain
And she's askin' to be mine
And Jesus is standing in the doorway
In a buckskin jacket, boots and spurs so fine
Says, "We need you, son, tonight up in Dodge City
'Cause there's just too many outlaws
Tryin' to work the same line"

Now if Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest
If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief
If papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's still too many bad boys
Tryin' to work the same line

Well sweet Virgin Mary runs the Holy Grail saloon
With a nickel she'll give ya whiskey
And a personally blessed balloon
And the Holy Ghost is the host with the most
He runs the burlesque show
Where they'll let you in for free
And they hit you when you go
Mary's serving Mass on Sunday
And she sells her body on Monday
To the bootlegger who paid the highest price
He don't know he got stuck with a loser
She's a stone junkie, what's more she's a user
She's only been made once or twice
By some kind of magic

If Jesus was a sheriff and I was the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief
And papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's still too many outlaws
Tryin' to work the same line

Well things ain't been the same in heaven
Since big bad Bobby came to town
He's been known to down eleven
Then ask for another round
Me, I got scabs on my knees
From kneeling way too long
It's about time I played the man
Took a stand where I belong
Yeah, forget about the old friends and the old times
There's just too many new boys
Tryin' to work the same line

Well, if Jesus was a sheriff and I were the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief
And papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's just too many outlaws
Tryin' to work the same line

Well there's a light on yonder mountain
And it's calling me to shine
There's a girl over by the water fountain
She's asking to be mine
Jesus is standing in the doorway
Six guns drawn and ready to fan
Said, "We need you tonight son, up in Dodge City"
Told him I was already overdue for Cheyenne

Yeah, if Jesus was the sheriff and I was the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's still too many bad boys
Tryin' to work the same line

If Jesus was the sheriff and I was the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief
And papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's still too many bad boys
Tryin' to work the same line

Yeah, if Jesus was the sheriff and I was the priest