Last Day Alive

So Overwhelmed by the shame of being me
A loser orphan uneducated and diseased
And nobody helps when i say that i seem
All alone in this world with no way of feeling peace

Friends are insistent my depression is fiction
Theyre pretending to listen when im venting my visions
Then said that they wish they lived the mess that im living
So i went on a mission to end my existence

Sat up high on the cliffs, with a knife to my wrists
Slice at my skin, sit and i smile as it drips
Cos i find that it gives, me a mind bending kick
To sit by and inflict, pain in any kind cos im sick

Here admiring ships, and as they rise from the mist
While i try pondering, why my lifes gone to shit
Sniffing lines of this whizz, till my minds all In bits
Getting high enough to think, nothing of diving off the pier

These scars all describe how i can't stand my life
Hows its hard to survive all the drama and fright
That ive harboured inside the dark half of my mind
But after tonight itll start to subside

Harsh to think time is just passing me by
And its hardly a life that im a part of so i
Look for answers and find things are far from alright
I can't say i mind its my last day alive

Walk along the sea front looking at all these cunts
Staring at me like they want their fucking teeth punched
Must be paranoid man im trying to breathe but
Im so damn annoyed i need some more speed bruv

Started checking around then some redhead i found
Mentioned the amounts that she kept in her house
Said she would proudly get amphetamines out
Then presented an ounce my head hit the clouds

I asked for 3 eighths and i paid with a fifty
Ate a chunk of paste my libido convinced me
To ask her on a date and she werent busy
So shed come back later and get coffee with me

So i waited at starbucks drank a coffee rolled a spliff
Then bought another cup watching the clock as it ticked
But she didn't show up i was just standing like a prick
So i thought what the fuck and went back to the pier

These scars all describe how i can't stand my life
Hows its hard to survive all the drama and fright
That ive harboured inside the dark half of my mind
But after tonight itll start to subside

Harsh to think time is just passing me by
And its hardly a life that im a part of so i
Look for answers and find things are far from alright
I can't say i mind its my last day alive

Walked the pier to the end
Stood at the centre of the thames
Looking over into kent closed my eyes and took a breath
Then right before i lept i was hit with this regret
Spent all my money on this phet so im not letting it get wet

I snorted more of the speed then sliced at my arms
To make sure that id bleed ten times as fast
My knife forced in deep when prying apart
At my forearms seething cos dying is hard

Start disecting my ribs i feel adrenaline
Flooding my sim dizzy its setting in
All light headed blood dripping on the decking yet
My whole mind heavy from whizzing off aphetamines

I dont recollect yet how the night was spent
Woke up by betfred just lying on a bench
Clothes caked in red mess dried to the thread
Im Still not dead yet gotta try it all again

These scars all describe how i can't stand my life
Hows its hard to survive all the drama and fright
That ive harboured inside the dark half of my mind
But after tonight itll start to subside

Harsh to think time is just passing me by
And its hardly a life that im a part of so i
Look for answers and find things are far from alright
I can't say i mind its my last day alive