Steve Berman (Skit) [2009]

[Skit: Steve Berman, Eminem & Receptionist]

*"Old Time's Sake" by Eminem plays in the background*

Mr. Berman?
What?
We have Eminem here to see you
About fuckin' time! Send him in
Steve! Good to see ya, man. Um, hey, I just w–
Well, look who decided to show his face! I hope you've had fun in the last four years!
Look man, I apologize again for–
For shooting me?! Do you know I lost the use of my right arm?
Again, it was a mistake, a terrible mist–
Are you wearing a bulletproof vest?
And then you go and do what? Hide out? Stay in Detroit for almost five years while the music industry melts the fuck down?
Do you know how many people lost their jobs because of your fuckin' vacation?
Well, that's actually why I'm here: I was gonna put out some new music, and I wanted to play it for you and get your opinion
Do I really need to hear it? Let me guess, another album about: "Poor me! I'm so famous that it's ruined my rich little life and I'm such a tortured artist, let me make music about it and my tragic love life!" Am I on to something here?
Come on, man, it's not like that...
You know what? Just hand the fuckin' thing over! I'm done talkin to you! Think you can just come and go as you please, big selfish superstar?
Steve, I had a drug problem!
"Oh, poor me! I had a drug problem!" Who hasn't had a drug problem in this town? You know what? *gun cocks*
Hey, hey, hey!
Just lay the shit down on my desk and get the fuck out!
Whoa, whoa, whoa-whoa, Jesus Christ, man, alright, alright, here, fine...
What's this shit? Two CDs?
That's what I've been tryin' to tell you, man, there's two albums
Just get out!
Alright!
Get the fuck out!
Alright, man, see you later
*bottle smashes*

[Tradução do Skit "Steve Berman [2002]" de Eminem, por Genius Brasil Traduções]

[Skit: Eminem & Steve Berman]

["Ain't Nuttin' But Music" por D12 tocando no fundo]

"Esse filho da puta, cara..."
[Eminem bate na porta.]
[Eminem suspira e a porta abre.]

"É ridículo, eu não posso acreditar!—Oh, espera um minuto. Em..."
"Qual foi?"
"Sente-se. Dre, eu vou te ligar de volta."
[Steve desliga o telefone]
"E agora?"
"Eu nem sequer sei por onde começar..."
"Okay...?"
"Eu tenho o álbum lá de cima"
"E..."
"E isso, é de longe, a coisa mais..."
[Eminem engatilha a arma e atira em Steve]
"... incrível... que eu já... ouvi..."

["Old Time's Sake" by Eminem plays in the background]
[BGM: Eminem的Old Time Sake]

[Receptionist]
Mr. Berman?
Berman先生？

[Steve Berman]
What?
怎么了？

[Receptionist]
We have Eminem here to see you
Eminem来见您

[Steve Berman & Eminem]
About fuckin' time! Send him in
来得真他妈是时候！让他进来
Steve! Good to see ya, man. Um, hey, I just w–
Steve！真高兴见到你，老兄。呃，我就是来——
Well, look who decided to show his face!
看啊，看看是谁终于舍得露脸了！
I hope you've had fun in the last four years
希望过去四年你耍得开心啊
Look man, I apologize again for–
老兄，我要再次道歉——
For shooting me?! Do you know I lost the use of my right arm?
因为你开枪打我？！你知不知道我右臂都废了？
Again, it was a mistake, a terrible mist–
是我错了，那是个糟糕的错——
Are you wearing a bulletproof vest?
你是不是穿了防弹衣？
And then you go and do what? Hide out?
所以你跑去干嘛去了？躲猫猫？
Stay in Detroit for almost five years
在底特律窝了五年
While the music industry melts the fuck down?
与此同时整个业界都他妈要毁了
Do you know how many people lost their jobs
你知道有多少人丢了工作
Because of your fuckin' vacation?
就因为你他妈去度假了？
Well, that's actually why I'm here
好吧，这就是我今天来的原因
I was gonna put out some new music
我想出一些新歌
And I wanted to play it for you and get your opinion
我想放给你听听，也听听你的意见
Do I really need to hear it?
我真的需要听吗？
Let me guess, another album about: "Poor me!
让我猜猜看啊，另一张专辑，讲：”我好惨！
I'm so famous that it's ruined my rich little life
我这么有名，我这有钱人的生活都被毁了
And I'm such a tortured artist, let me make music about it
我是个扭曲的艺术家，以这为主题写个歌吧
And my tragic love life!" Am I on to something here?
还有我悲剧的爱情生活！“我说得对不？
Come on, man, it's not like that
帮帮忙老兄，不是这样的
You know what? Just hand the fuckin' thing over!
你知道啥？赶紧把那玩意儿给我！
I'm done talkin to you!
我没啥跟你好说的！
Think you can just come and go as you please
你以为你想走就走想来就来？
Big selfish superstar?
你这臭屁又自私的大明星？
Steve, I had a drug problem!
Steve，我有药瘾！
"Oh, poor me! I had a drug problem!"
”哦，我好惨！我有药瘾！“
Who hasn't had a drug problem in this town?
咱们这城里谁没药瘾？
You know what? (*gun cocks*)
你知道吗？（*拉枪栓*）
Hey! hey!
嘿！嘿！
Just lay the shit down on my desk and get the fuck out!
你他妈赶紧把东西放我桌上然后有多远滚多远！
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jesus Christ, man
老天，老兄
Alright, alright, here, fine
好吧好吧，放这儿了，好吧
What's this shit? Two CDs?
这他妈啥？两张碟？
That's what I've been tryin' to tell you, man, there's two albums
我就是想跟你说这个，老兄，有两张新专辑要出呢
Just get out!
快滚！
Alright!
好！
Get the fuck out!
赶紧滚！
Alright, man, see you later
好吧老兄，回头见
(*bottle smashes*)
（*丢瓶子*）

[Skit: Eminem, Steve Berman, Vanessa (Segretaria)]

*la porta si apre*
*La base di What's the Difference di Dr. Dre (Ft. Eminem & Xzibit) suona in sottofono*
Aye!
Ehi, Em, che dici?
Steve Berman, che succede, amico? Come va?
È bello vederti di nuovo, che dici?
Em, potresti venire qui e sederti per favore?
Ehmm, sì, che s-?
Vanessa, chiudi la porta
Okay, *la porta viene chiusa*
Quindi, che succede?
Come stanno andando gli ordini per la prima settimana?
Sarebbe stato meglio se non mi avessi dato proprio niente
Ch-
Quest'album è meno di niente
Non posso vendere questo cazzo di album
Ma che-
Lo sai cosa sto vivendo io là fuori?
Qu-Qual è il problema?
Violet Brown mi ha mandato affanculo!
Chi è Violet-
Tower Records mi ha detto di infilarmi quest'album su per il culo!
Sai come ci si sente a sentirsi dire di avere un album
Infilato nel culo?
Ma io-
Perderò il mio cazzo di lavoro per questo
Sai perchè l'album di Dre ha avuto così tanto successo?
Sta rappando di TV con schermi giganti, canne, alcool e puttane
Tu stai rappando di omosessuali e Vicodin
Cioè io...
Non posso vendere 'sta merda!
Che-
O cambi l'album o non può usicre
Cosa? Io-
Ora esci dal mio cazzo di uffico!
Cosa dovrei-
Adesso!
*sospira* Vabene, amico-

[स्किट: एमिनेम, स्टीव बर्मन]

[पृष्ठभूमि में D12 नाटकों द्वारा "इज़ नॉट न्यूटिन 'बट म्यूज़िक"]

"ये कमीने, यार..."
[एमिनेम दरवाजा खटखटाता है।]
[एमिनेम आहें भरता है और दरवाजा खुल जाता है।]

"यह हास्यास्पद है, मुझे विश्वास नहीं हो रहा है! -ओह, एक मिनट रुको। एम ..."
"क्या चल रहा है?"
"बैठो। ड्रे, मैं तुम्हें वापस बुलाता हूँ।"
[स्टीव ने फोन काट दिया।]
"अब क्या?"
"मैं यह भी नहीं जानता कि कहाँ से शुरू करूँ ..."
"ठीक...?"
"मुझे एल्बम ऊपर से मिला है..."
"और..."
"और यह, अब तक, सबसे अधिक है..."
[एमिनेम एक बंदूक उठाता है और स्टीव पर गोली मारता है।]
"...अविश्वसनीय बात... मैंने कभी... सुना है..."

[Sketch: Eminem, Steve Berman]

["Ain't Nuttin' But Music" av D12 spelar i bakgrunden]

"Den här motherfuckern, mannen..."
[Eminem knackar på dörren.]
[Eminem suckar och dörren öppnar.]

"Det är löjligt, jag kan inte tro det!-Oh, vänta en minut. Em..."
"Vad händer?"
"Sitt ner. Dre, jag ringer tillbaka."
[Steve lägger på mobilen.]
"Vad nu?"
"Jag vet inte ens vart jag ska börja..."
"Okej...?"
"Jag fick nyss in albumet..."
"Och..."
"Och det här, är överlägset, det mest..."
[Eminem tar upp en pistol och siktar på Steve.]
"...otroliga... jag någonsin... har hört..."