Dickie’s Such an A*****e (Live / 12-10-73 / Show 2)

Ok, hold your applause for one second. Alright, we can come up and do another encore provided everybody provides with the liquor law, so pass any glasses that are on the table to the end of the aisle, and Mar- Alright, hold it a second. And Mary'll let us do another encore, so just- anybody with a glass, don't give the waitress a hard time, just pass the glasses to the end of the aisle so the bus boys and waitress's can get it. Don't say it's the last sip. Ok, and once again, Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention

Thank you! No. Listen, uh they're going to, uh, reload the cameras and we're gonna do a special- 'nother special number for you, ladies and gentlemen. That was quite an experience. Heheh. (How about a Golden Oldie?) Golden Oldie? Well, I'll tell ya what, ya know, we could play Golden Oldie, but the golden newie is better. (Do y'know any clean ones?) Dwarf Nebula, good god! Have you been there too? Ya know, people come to concerts and they ask for unusual songs sometimes, most of the time people ask for normal stuff. (Louie-louie) Louie-louie, that's right. But, ya know, wh- it makes me feel really good when somebody requests a great hit like, "Dwarf Nebula". You don't even know what that is, it's just an electronic piece on one of the albums, y'know. (GET A LITTLE) Yeah, oh you ready to go? Heyy, ladies and gentlemen, our new special number, which we're using currently as our encore even, is something that has a certain amount of political import and implications, because it- it casts aspersions on the character of our president. Name of this song is, "Dickie's Such An Asshole". Now, we don't wish to- we don't wish to offend any devout republicans with our material, but that's just tough tushy ladies and gentlemen. Now, if you'd like to, we have audience participation on this, you don't have to stand up you can just sit there, all you gotta do is sing, and here's the lick, it comes right at the end of the song: "Dickie's such an asshole (sincerely Dick, we man it) weee-oooh". Ok, you think you can master that? Wanna try it one time? Here. "Dickie's such an asshole (sincerely Dick, we man it) weee-oooh". Yes, it's that "Wee-ooh" that really gets it. Ok, here we go. Let's give it right to them. Give it to them. I mean, this is going to them

[Intro]
One 'n one is eleven
Two 'n two is twenty-two
Won't somebody kindly tell me
What the government's tryin' to do

[Verse 1]
Dickie's just too tricky
For a chump like me to use
Well, you take that sub-committee serious, boy
You just might get a seizure from the evenin' news
Well, millions 'n millions of dollars
Much as he might need
He could open up a chain of motels, people
On the highway, yes indeed
Quadrophonic desperation
Ya know, there be a cable all under your bed
Well, if you just might break some wind in your slumber
The FBI is gonna get your number
Gonna get ya
Gonna get ya
Gonna jump out of the sub-committee and get ya

[Verse 2]
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Done got your number
The FBI
Done got your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
The FBI
Gonna get your number
Gonna get your number
Gonna get your number

[Verse 3]
I'm tryin' not to worry
Tryin' not to care
But you know I get delighted
When some microphones not there
Can't have no private conversations
Nowhere in the U, USA
Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the world
Find out that their government
Is just the same ol' way

[Instrumental]

[Bridge]
Well, let me tell you one thing right now
Let me tell you one thing right here
Let me make this perfectly clear
Let me tell you one thing right here
You know I never lied to ya
I said I'd lower taxes
I lower all the taxes
I told ya I'd be your friend
I always smile at ya
One thing I wanna tell you about
I had a whole bunch of tapes
'N I had a whole bunch of friends
Didn't know what to do with the tapes
Decided to give 'em to a friend
Gave one to Bebe
Two to Da-
Two to Nick
Two to him
Two to them
Then I said now
Hold on now, hold on
Hold on to, hold on
Gonna get ya
Hold on, gonna get ya baby
Get down and start prayin'
Hold on, gonna get ya
Hold on, it's gonna get ya
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, yeah
He cheated
He lied
He said he'd lower taxes
Then cheated
You know the man lied
He said he'd end the war
But he didn't say when, no
Let me tell ya one more thing
Make it clear

[Verse 4]
The gangster stepped right up
Missed him on the lips goodbye
Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did
And he didn't even bat an eye
The man in the White House, let me tell ya
He's got a conscience black as sin!
There's just one thing I wanna know
How'd that asshole ever manage to get in?

[Outro]
Here it is, are you ready now?
DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE
Sincerely, Dick, we mean it
Wee-ooh

That's the end of the show, [?].They really like those [?]. [?] after that, Genesis, Tar of Par(?). It's quicker and faster to use the side exits