The Ballad of Seymour Better Times

Seymour was a work of art
Always getting into trouble
Never met a lass he didn't love
Never loved a lass that didn't have a
Hubba hubba hubba hubba

Seymour wasn't very smart
So he soon got a reputation
A list of suitors with reservations
To send him on a permanent vacation
He said

I will live to fight another day
I'll sing a song and soon be on my way
My journey may be long before I'm done
So won't you play the drums

Seymour met a girl named Phil
Phil was sweet as honey
She liked fancy things
But Seymour didn't have no
Money money money money

Soon she stole his heart
And acquired a knack for thieving
So when the coppers broke down the front door
Seymour was outback leaving
Leavin' leavin' leavin'
I will live to love another day

I'll sing a simple song to ease my pain
My journey may be long to sweeter shores
So won't you play the horns

On the road to a better place
Bells ring, birds sing

Nightly dreaming of those pearly gates
How long must we roam
'Til I can go home

Seymour got it in his head
To change his sinful ways
Become a man of the church
No longer would he str-ay-ay-ay

But on his way to church
Seymour received a sign
A messenger from the good Lord
In red high heels with blue oo eyes

He said, I will praise the Lord in my own way
And revel in his creation every day
My journey may require some grace
So let the choir sing

On the road to a better place
Bells ring, birds sing

Nightly dreaming of those pearly gates
How long must I roam
'Til I can go home