It’s So Fucking Hot [Workshop]

-beat boxing-

[USNAVI]
Wepa!
Yo it’s so fucking hot!
Hundred degrees in the shade today, hate to say
My air conditioner’s just a paperweight with no juice, but I stay loose
With this freestyle buck wild beat
The only way to beat the sun's heat
Plus we don’t need someone to tell us that we're funky
Though the road is bumpy, we never grumpy
Have fun, be optimistic, don’t go ballistic
You got some lipstick on your collar, oh Benny
A gentlemen and a scholar disappeared last night
But that’s alright, you’re quite a gigolo, Deuce Bigalow
I taught him everything I know, so where did you ascend the silly, ho?
Go! And keep it up! Don’t fuck up my flow son!

[BENNY]
Yo she’s a sophisticated lady and I’m the tramp
I swept her off her pretty feet under the streetlamp
And then we made the satin sheets damp but just to recap
I wanna go over something that happened
A certain someone shoulda been tapping that ass
Like Aladdin tapped Jasmine instead of acting like a has-been
Messing with Vanessa in that nightclub
Why didn't you hit that shit like Brad Pitt in Fight Club?
You blew your shot ain’t that right scrub?

[USNAVI]
Woo!

[LINCOLN]
What?

[USNAVI]
Oh!

[LINCOLN]
Are you kidding me? You gotta be kidding me
It makes me sick to watch you talking shit pitifully
Cuz I’m the one who should be analyzing critically
Assume an observation

[USNAVI]
What!

[LINCOLN]
Promiscuous fornication

[USNAVI]
What!

[LINCOLN]
Cuz you’re the one who runs from every little situation
You’re full of it! Benny, you’re fucking full of it!

[USNAVI]
Okay everybody! Chill relax take your pill take your Xanax
Get off each others fothermucking nut sacks, butt cracks
You guys are best friends!

[LINCOLN]
Best friends since when?

[BENNY]
Yo, I’m gonna ignore that, I think you’ve been drinking
You wanna step to me, nigga, I’m not blinking
Yo I’m just saying when a girl is fucking winking like she got a nervous tic
You gotta let that hint sink in
Vanessa wanted you, man, what was you thinking?
Sitting there wimping when you shoulda been pimping

[USNAVI]
Ooh!

[LINCOLN]
I don’t need your bullshit pity or condescending attitude
I’m already mad at you

[USNAVI]
What’s the matta dude?

[LINCOLN]
You think I wanna be like you!?

[USNAVI]
That’s not true, what?

[LINCOLN]
Benny, I’d rather be anyone but you!

[BENNY]
Fuck you!

[LINCOLN]
Fuck you! You started this. Let’s get to the heart of this

[USNAVI]
Yo. This is retardedness

[BENNY]
Whatever

[LINCOLN]
You grab your mans trying to tap that ass offa anything that pass, man
Have no class you walk around mad cuz you had no dad

[BENNY]
Yo, what did you say to me?

[USNAVI]
Yo relax he ain’t worth it!

[LINCOLN]
Hey nobody’s perfect but stay away from Nina
Cuz she does not deserve your shit
And if you ever touch my sister again
You can forget that you were ever my friend

[BENNY]
And don’t you ever blame your problems on me
Because I’ll see whoever I wanna see

[LINCOLN]
Whatever yo

[BENNY]
Yo whatever

[USNAVI]
Nice weather
Hey, would you two please pull out for a minute? We’re spitting
Everything was fine then we hit a little speed bump
We don’t need to get heated so please come back, don’t be so wack

Now I’m sitting on the stoop like a nincompoop
And I’ve told you everything
And thrown the kitchen sink in too
I don’t know much more than you
My friends are leaving me on the stoop
As if I was a week old mangu

…Hey, where y’all going!?
Damn