​i hate waking up

When the sun widens it's eyes
I no longer know what's goin' on in here

Ayy, ayy wakin' up soon, but I wanna sleep
Nothing is worse than leavin' these sheets
Barely awake, still brushing my teeth
Running the tap, rinse and repeat
You were the lady and I was a tramp
But showing you off, I felt like the champ
I was your favorite, but fading away
Leaving saliva all over my face
Movies on Fridays no longer a thing
Huh, II feel it sting
What didn't I bring? 'Cause I brought a lot
In case you come back
I'll be saving your spot
Try making a difference and showing you life
Stuck at your side, you stuck in a knife
Pourin' you wine, you pourin' my blood
Wipe out my lifе, in need of a flood, yeah

I need a flood, I need an ending
I'm scared of thе truth
So I'll keep pretending
Don't need a reason, I've been defeated
Now I'm alone, I'll be looking for Jesus
I no longer know what's going on in here

Yeah, ever seen somebody die?
Ever cut your wrists with
The bluntest of knives?
Hit your friends, started texting goodbyes?
Ain't nothin' left, but death in your eyes
Sometimes people leave and
The lesson's acceptance
The older you get, harder it is to get it
Some people look for you
Some look for an exit
Might hurt you, might hate it
But never regret it
(I don't run from pain, it made me)
How could I ever hate what had shaped me?
Been to hell, how could death ever phase me?
Wish 'em well, even when they all hate me
Let me be
Take my soul and finally set it free
Spread my ashes on the seven seas
Let me rest in peace, when I'm dead
Deceased swear, a grave's the only thing
That's left for me

I need a flood, I need an ending
I'm scared of the truth
So I'll keep pretending
Don't need a reason, I've been defeated
Now I'm alone, I'll be looking for Jesus
I no longer know what's going on in here
(I have literally no hope
I have nothing left)

Ain't a discography, this an effigy
I'm a giant, so when I am dyin'
You had better make sure that
I'm buried seven feet
My reflection deference to the left of me
Cracking under pressure
Don't let it get to me
You can even break me down chemically
Rappin' pain
The only thing that my chemistry
Contains, I think that this meant for me

I think it's meant for me
Maybe not meant to be
I'm sick and tired of fighting with enemies
Tryin' to cry, she lied about everything
I wanna die, but that's a petty thing
I got a lot more I could be giving
Some people hate me, that's a given
Wonder what I could've done to
Act like the sun
And put some good use to my energy
I think I'm done, done, done, done
I wanna run, run, run, run
Tried to get some, some, some, some
And I fucked up my funds, funds, funds, funds
I got like two years to be me
And I got like three days in a week
Now I got like four things that I need
And I bought like five pills, I'm asleep
Yeah, you know I'm tired as shit
I thought I'd die as a kid
I brought a knife into school
And they told me, "It is what it is"
Should've been locked in a prison
Talk about shitty decisions
I had to roam, no intentions
Told me to work for my pension, huh
Nowadays, I've been getting paid
'Cause the music got me some attention, yeah