Rom 8:1

How can I be a new creature if memory serves to remind me
Eyes stuck behind me
How can I set defenses with my enemy still inside me
Yelling come find me
I'm scared they'll surprise me
Living in terror, I'm hiding
From all of my thoughts
No wonder I can't stand a moment of silence
Shhhh
People keep asking me when I'll come back to the spot where I've been
No evil intent
It's said with a grin
But I'm petrified that the cycle has started again
Forgetting our pleasure could come with causality
Set our intentions to focus on apathy
Wanted our sex to be casual
No wonder there's so many casualties
Let me show you the burn marks that broke hearts
Faces that burn scars where rooms dark
Play on the ceiling, dancing to beats that're too marred
And too far away to hear the snap of a heartstring
Apparently, I still can't stand the silence, so I sing
Left to myself, deconstruction's what I bring
Virtues like vices, my dreams held in vice grips
Taking poor shots cause I missed all the timing
No, wait, the problem is deeper
It's buried beneath all this Christian demeanor
It's buried in fathoms, can't fathom the meters
It's buried in tiers, a natural feature
I'm missing my fear, how long since I seen her
And I'm treating wisdom like I never need her
I should probably step back, 'fore all of my setbacks from way back end at me greeting the Reaper
(Lord!) So where is the hope that you promised
Cause I don't feel jack if I'm honest
My thoughts are so loud that they drown out the sound of the prophets
(Lord!) And all of the streams of my conscience
Head from the left at a constant
Rate of descent, despite my dissent
So all of my words feel subsonic
Cause all that I read are the comments
And all I believe look like comics
I can believe there's power for others but never myself
I'm fit for the garbage
I'm trying to say that I'm common
I do not feel special, I feel like the opposite
Why would you go out your way to redeem me again
I'm already so tarnished
I need more than a polish and manicure
But you hung on three nails, affixed to a tree, next to two thieves, people like me
My sin is abolished, this man is cured
Forget my description, I'll copy yours
The fear of the Lord is beginning of wisdom
I started with ships and then got in a fish and three fitful nights later, back on the shore
I needed to switch definitions
Who told me my mission was forfeit
Myself and my enemy, they need to
(BE QUIET)
I'm learning my lesson, I needed to (stop)
Bringing up sin you forgave and for(got)
If you call me a son, all my charges you (drop)
If you're making me new, then that is reality
My garments are white no more blemish or spots
It don't matter what my mind said
I'm still made new
It don't matter what my heart said
I'm still made new