The Flood

It shouldn’t be so hard to find the words to say
But I’m sorry for that day. I can’t believe that’s your name on this grave
I’m not half the man I should have been because…
…the repercussion from your pain was painfully obvious

I watched your son get drunk. I watched my brother get high
We’re just barely getting by

But I digress, and I’ll confess just to get this off my chest
I digress, I confess, I just can’t put this thing to rest.
I’m not half the man you think I am; I’m not
I pressed my hands into the sand and now I’m drowning in the flood
Because the bridge to you my friend is paved in black ambivalence
I cannot cross this canyon so I’m jumping from the ledge

I still remember that October on your daughters wedding day
Well I know you passed away but I see you in the smile on her face
It fills my chest but not a breath could leave my lungs
And I would hate to think you’d ever be ashamed of us

When I see your husband now, and just how far he’s fall…
…maybe he doesn’t want to live at all

But I digress, and I’ll confess just to get this off my chest
I digress, I confess, I just can’t put this thing to rest.
I’m not half the man you think I am; I’m not
I pressed my hands into the sand and now I’m drowning in the flood
Because the bridge to you my friend is paved in black ambivalence
I cannot cross this canyon so I’m jumping from the ledge
With my feet beneath the mud, I’ll let this river freeze my blood
I cannot cross this canyon if I’m drowning in the flood