I'm Not Really Here

I wanna get high
Get out of my head
Go swimming in the ocean
Learn to bake bread
Do something with my hands
Something I can hold
'Cause I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality
Out here in the cold
Just pissing in the snow

I wanna find love
Touch the unknown
Go all Billy Elliot, dancing in the street
Like I can just disappear
But how did I end up, end up here?
Feels like I'm

Grocery shopping on a Friday night
While my best friend's watching that MMA fight
On his phone in the backseat, parked outside
Yeah, I just kinda feel like
I'm not really here

I'm spiraling out
I'm not in control
I'm not in my body, this Millennial ennui's getting so goddamn old now
Who's driving this car?
That's not Jesus at the wheel
Somebody take me away
'Cause I feel like

Brown-bagging 40s on the Greyhound bus
Blowing lines off a hundred In God We Trust
Just fucking in public, trying my luck
'Cause I just wanna feel like
I'm not really here

I'm not really here