The State of the End of the Millenium Address

Neighbors, nobody loves you like we do
Neighbors, your government has triumphed in finally making you a public fit for the 21st century
Never before has a governing body shown so much concern for the economic well-being of its subjects
Today we have insulated you from countless factions who threatens your financial viability
Such as the poor, the idealistic foreigners still clinging to their childish notions of social welfare
Why, you're even kept uninformed of useless propagandist journalism that reports alleged violations of human rights
We all know they wouldn't have been punished if they hadn't been doing something wrong
And who better to dispense such blatantly evident factoids but a self-appointed authority like myself?
Acid Rain is a thing of the past; too many possible causes, too little significance for our modern thinking public
Besides industrial manufacturing is at an all time low anyways
Who needs those narrow minded laborers?
Too many mouths to feed and to many burden on the pay roll
Who needs 'em here in the land of the free-time?
Some other ass backward country will give us what we need by exploiting its uneducated children anyway
The Internet has expanded our ability to pacify average Americans better than ever by offering fantastical adventures to every corner of the imagination
Your home office is the window to your world and the heart of your social life
Such reclusive behavior helps clear the roads and public works from overburden
Like the lower middle-class and others who depend shamelessly on their government
Today you are freer than ever to do what you want, provided you can pay for it
Remember, the first word in USA is US
We have arrived neighbors, we are the privileged elite!