1-900 L.L. Cool J

Yo "Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?"
Yeah whats up? "Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?"
Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey

I motivate, accelerate
Devastate, and dominate
I don't smoke crack so I won't lose weight
Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and I'm straight
Go to a restaurant, give me steak
Then cook my chicken with Shake'n'Bake
I leave all the preaching to Reverend Flake
How much money can one black man make?
I'm what's known as a true dynamiter
I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
Go with the flow, but no, I'm not a biter
Can't compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
Cause you're biting my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh
And biting my rhymes ain't slick
I got your gold teeth marks all over my
Complications and aggravation
An unnecessary-sation
I'm like Sunkist, good vibrations
Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
Cool out, grab a seat and listen,
Cause I'ma start dismissing
Sucker MC's who's out there fronting
Talking all that yang, yo you smoking something
Should of treated me royal, yo he wasn't loyal
Now it's all about chaos and turmoil
Gimme that microphone
I'ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone

Yo "Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?"
Yeah whats up? "Can you tell me what you do when you're cooling out?"
Yo check this out

Now when I'm cooling out, no time for a granny
Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
"Can LL ?" Man, can he?
I tell you what, give up the fanny
Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift
Not too big, but nothing to play with
In addition, you on a mission
You need to audition for another position
Doing damage is a crew tradition
Name your next al-blum intermission
You're full of preservatives, plus,
You're too conservative
I'm full of flair, savor faire, debonair
There's no competition, for this here
So don't waste your time and breath
I'm giving you all a big F
MC's I envelop,
As the song goes on, the rhyme develops
I'm Asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic
You don't want no static
Anyway, I ain't having it!
When I see the microphone, I'm grabbing it
Plug it in and take charge
LL XL, Xtra-Large
Know what I'm saying? Peace

Hello?
Hello whats up girl?
How you doing girl? I been trying to call you all day
Word up I was talking to LL he was kicking
Some mo' hyped up rhymes to me
Word, I spoke to him today too, them rhymes was pumping
Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here
Alright
See-ya