Fear

{Fear} This was the moment I feared

Reoccurring dream, I was falling
Droppin' from something tall
And Jesus name that I'm calling
This is pretty deep how I'mma decorate the city street
Little bitty pieces there's really gonna be some chalky drawings
In this dream I had, when I land
I can taste the blood, I can smell the concrete
And I can feel my bones crush on a calm street
Dark and desolate, my heart I never get
Another beat I'm gonna be other head to split, my hell is credited
Where the red is in, I'm down and dead admit in light I'm dreadin' this
If we're created of God than predestination
Should not be looked at as odd, when we're blessed to wake in-
Side of a dream, like I've been here before
And we sum it up with some french expression like we didn't hear the lord
So I'm hopin' and prayin'
That I won't be opened and sprayin'
In real life and it's just a dream, and it's not a thing that can sway my view
But my fear is that I end up layin' and ready for decayin'
What I thought was a dream now it's Déjà vu

{Fear}
If I fall will the angels catch me?
Or in it all is it my destiny?
Is there a sound when the ground absorbs me?
Or a dream tellin' me my story

I called up my mother, but who answered my brother
He said "she real sick but I'm gonna put her on just tell her you love her"
My heart it just fluttered when mama picked up she would utter
"Who is this?" I said "Donnie", but she thought I was another
Didn't even know me, and she's not an oldie
It's the lupus or epilepsy
Maybe the psychosis solely
"This your son I just called to say happy birthday"
Not really knowin' me hit me in the worst way
Then she said "Oh yeah, little Donnie, how you doin' in school?"
I said "I'm 42, mommy!"
I give my arm, leg, leg, arm, head if that means my momma get better
Toughest thing to swallow is when someone who raised you, they gonna forget ya
I'm feelin' sadness, I'm feelin' anger
Steady praying for a higher power to come down and change it
Rearrange her cause my fear is that the sickness in her mind
In due time it'll make her son a stranger

A stranger to the one who raised us
Nameless to the one who named us
Back to the place where it all began
I'm seeing heaven but I fear it's the end

Taught to have faith in God
Breakin' bread then we bakin' K.O.D
Makin' plenty then spread it abroad
Wash it down with a glass of Shiraz
I try to walk the path of the righteous one
But this life is one, that's full of strife, let's run
To the mountain top
What I'm 'bout to say if suckas starts to thinking this holy name
I denounce then stop
Man, I'm just sayin'
I do a whole lot of prayin'
And I wonder if it's listenin' to Aaron's nightly whisperin'
'Bout mom in the tithe she's weakly payin'
I know it's a blessing, that I raised kids cause I got skill
And thank God that gangbang thing didn't bring me hot steel
Now my mom's worse and a lot ill
My fear is that this God I'm prayin' to for my mother is not real

Extinguish me from this world of fire
False teachings taught by liars
Prayers that go in an empty asylum
No salvation from this messiah